The Profile Picture

I don’t like when people make me feel stupid. I doubt anybody likes that, in fact, unless that’s your special blend of kink. Even worse is when the source of said feeling is someone I previously had at least a semi-romantic interest in, despite the actual facts of the situation; beyond that, of course, it can only spiral into lower and lower territory once the self-pitying messages in the vein of “I just had to ask because I couldn’t go on not knowing” and “I’m sure you’ve already moved on, but…” start arriving.

Rather than doxx this dumbass and warn people about his fake hair and shady motives, I’ll just give this piece of advice: If you’re hoping to be “friends” with someone you consistently misrepresented the truth to, it’s not a good move to (1) send the aforementioned self-pitying messages, (2) claim you can’t get divorced in the first message because you “have nowhere to go,” (3) claim in the second message that your divorce will suddenly be finalized at the end of the month, and then (4) change your profile picture to a selfie on your front stoop with you and, yes, YOUR WIFE.

I had him blocked, but when the new picture popped up, before deleting the conversation, I unblocked him to see if I could find his profile; he probably blocked me, though, because I didn’t see it. I’m leaving him unblocked because I’m out of shits to give, and I’m still amused that I managed to say to his face (over a lunch that I paid for) that no one in my family liked him.

I feel stupid because I believed this guy when he seemingly poured his heart out about his relationship struggles, his home life, and other things that tugged on my heartstrings because I’ve always wanted to help, to the point of being a “fixer” in my romances, and never giving myself enough attention or credit. I can see it in my diaries all the way back to the late 1990s, where I penned notes to my partners saying things like “Thank you for still loving me despite all the stupid arguments that I start”—when I wasn’t the only one causing a problem, or else I straight up wasn’t the problem to begin with. Self-worth is a hell of a thing, but at least I managed to course correct before it was too late.

Al l that said, for anyone wondering if it’s okay to feel stupid when someone you were attracted to does something that’s just WTF, it is, for a little bit, but don’t beat yourself up over it. Years from now, they’ll be just a miserable footnote in a closed chapter.